i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
