Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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