wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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