i just sent this text using only my big toe
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
