YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
