I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
