Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
