well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
