I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
3pm strippers are depressing
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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