oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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