That's intense
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
