Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
