One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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