he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
