I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
