I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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