K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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