Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
