Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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