ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
