turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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