White coat. Heels.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
