So drunk its hurt
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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