I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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