I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
