That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Randomize
