Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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