yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
please don't ironically join a cult
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