you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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