All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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