Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Watching her eat just hurts me
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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