i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
