Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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