forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
