Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
