no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
