R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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