That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
