is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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