i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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