Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Nicole vs. Life
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We left an ass print on the piano.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
