OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
