I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
