i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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