Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
