I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
