If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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