If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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