It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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