i just google imaged poop.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
